Judgmental? I think not!

We're repeatedly taught from a young age to judge things not by their cover or external appearance, but by what's inside. After all, that's what matters. Whoever said this has clearly not eaten enough pineapples in their life. Pineapples are so beautiful with their shades of green, yellow, rebellious spiky leaves and symmetric rectangular patterns for a jacket. But that's not all folks! Once you cut into that sweet fruit, the kitchen fills with that beautiful aroma that just makes you think of a tropical paradise. Then for the grand finale, when you savor that sweet juicy burst of flavour, WOooohA! Amazing! It's like heaven in my mouth. mmmm.

Well this post was inspired by the pineapple I'm eating right now. Well back to studying neurology.

Ambition is a double edged sword

Ambition is wonderful. Ambition is tiring. When you hear people talk about other people's accomplishments, people they admire, people who have a vision etc., ambition is attributed to them. Ambition is the mother of accomplishments. Accomplishments beget praise and admiration. People like to admire things.
In general, I like the fact that I'm ambitious. It gives me something to do, and it pays off. It feels good to accomplish something. It's also very tiring at times. Ambition is like a fire - it's a useful tool, but if you lose control of it, you're in trouble. As you get comfortable with your new accomplishments and endeavors, your fiery ambition starts to burn more - you want to push yourself some more. However, eventually it takes control of you, and you feel overwhelmed. I think I've reached this point. I want to do so much in life. Life is short.
Being class president probably consumes at least 25 hours a month of my time. As an exec on the pediatric interest group, more hours are consumed. (thankfully not too many because I have amazing co-execs). The annual Tachycardia theatrical play is consuming a lot of my time (I'm in the play, and I'm dancing in it too). Countless emails to reply to. Countless profs and doctors who are asking me to write a reference letter for an award they were nominated for. Furthermore, I decided I want to learn how to play the guitar, and so that consumes more of my time (although it's unbelievably fun!!). My commitment to going to the gym or at least trying to exercise at home consumes at least 1 hour/day. Trying to plan, organize and book things for my summer travel to Europe consumes time. Ethics project consumes time. Then there are the little things that really add up a lot - cooking, shopping, catching a moment of silence, listening to friends, friends' birthdays, helping friends, and catching up with the parents.

I'm not sure what I'll do when I look back at this and realize that in the end, things work out. Will I learn my lesson once the fire's under control? or will I be tempted to play with something much bigger?

Happy Easter!

When I begin writing an article for this blog, I like to find an appropriate image to accompany it. Google image search does the job every time (remember kids to put safesearch on). So this time I google imaged 'Easter'(yes, very creative of me) and right away I found a suitable image. I also found something very interesting. There were more pictures of bunnies and eggs than pictures of crosses or of Jesus. How bizarre is that? I won't get too religious in this article, but Easter is about Jesus and His resurrection on the third day. It is about a celebration of hope, forgiveness, and being reborn for millions of Christians. Unfortunately, in a capitalistic society, EVERYTHING becomes marketed. Does this justify it at all? Absolutely not. Suppose we took a well known and deceased figure, say Gandhi, Albert Einstein etc., and instead of commemorating their work, we decided to market some Klondike Bar (Ice Cream sandwiches for those who aren't brainwashed with TV commercials). That's right kids, every Klondike Bar now has an atomic explosion's worth of ice cream taste! mmmm yum! How about twisting Gandhi's quote "As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it." and then the marketers can show him deriving comfort from a Klondike Bar! mmm yum again! How ridiculous would this marketing campaign be? In essence, this would be insulting. Putting religion aside, the least anyone can do is respect a good man who gave a message of hope, who did nothing bad towards anyone, and in the process died for something he believed in.
The other interesting thing is that almost anyone can get away with making fun of Jesus, or using the word Jesus in nonreligious contexts (i.e. Jesus f***ing Christ). However, when other religions feel any sign of blasphemy, it looks like a war is about to erupt! For example, the Danish cartoonist who drew a picture of Islam's prophet Mohamed as a terrorist resulted in several deaths, numerous death threats and riots all over the world. When Scientology was attacked (still is) by a group of bored nerds named Anonymous (see video below for example), well Scientologists found ways of getting back at them. So why does Christianity 'tolerate' this? Is it because Christianity (all denominations: 2.1 billion) is the biggest religion will naturally get attacked/scrutinized more? Other big religions (i.e. Islam: 1.5 billion) fight back whenever their religion or prophet is attacked though. I think part of the issue is that Christians are taught to be chronic forgivers, nice etc..to the extent that if something wrong happens, they'll just sit at home and pray about it and then forgive the attackers. Sometimes you have to stand up on your feet though people! As George Jackson once said "Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice."

So that's my rant for the week. Oh, and Happy Easter!

PS below is one of Anonymous' attack on Scientology..if you look under google news and on youtube, you can find more protests being done in an attempt to shut down Scientology.

I have an addiction...

It's true, you read the title right. I have an addiction. An addiction to hugs. From the moment that I was born, I preferred sleeping on my parents' chest than eating. I wasn't a noisy baby nor did I cry much. I slept and hugged them. That's all I seemed to need from them to feel peaceful. My mom would often recount the effort she had to put in feeding me. Food didn't seem as high of a priority on my list as sleeping or being held by my parents.
As I look at how I am now, I must say, these habits still remain true (minus needing diapers thankfully). I eat when I feel hungry or when I realize I haven't bothered eating much that day. When it comes to hugs though, I'm a glutton. It's my desert. What's amusing is that the other hug-lovers in the class (pretty much all girls - woot woot) come to me. Apparently the years of 'practice' have paid off. Everyday, it seems like there's a lineup of ladies waiting for their turn to get a hug. I do get teased about the attention I get, but any teasing's worth that warm, innocent, comforting, peaceful feeling of holding someone you care about. Despite getting a lot of hugs daily, every single one feels like a new wonderful experience to me.
This stirred up some thoughts and discussions among my colleagues (yes this is what your future doctors talk about). Apparently hugs cause your brain to release endorphins which makes you feel good (basically acts as a reward mechanism). So I started thinking - can you overdose on a hug? Can you become so used to a hug, like an addict, that your usual dose no longer feels as good?
The other thing about hugs is, some people just suck at giving hugs. I assume they didn't practice like I did when they were young, so now they're not olympians of hugging. A bad hug is one in which they stand about half an arm lenght's away,and instead of coming closer, they lean forward, as if there's a fence between us, and then pat ya on the back. Honestly what is that!? There's no fence or bubble of space in hugging! When I meet a good hugger, I let them know of how amazing of a hugger they are, which often takes them by surprise, because I suppose not too many people point out their appreciation of hugs. So now I jokingly refer huggers to other good huggers, thereby creating a network of awesome huggers.
So how important are hugs? well they seem important enough that people are investing valuable time and technology to create clothes that hug you! Basically, if you are away from a good hugger, well then you can both buy this special shirt - the hug shirt - and when activated, you'll receive the same feeling and warmth of a hug from them! check it out: http://www.cutecircuit.com/projects/wearables/thehugshirt/

Well that's all for now folks. *hugs*.

I say hello, you say goodbye

I lean onto the train window, staring at the snow draped farm lands, naked trees, deserted muddy roads, and a distantly shy sun. Vast open land, cold and seemingly lonely territory being interrupted by the rhythmic rickety sound of the train. Roughly 2 hours ago, my brother and I stared out of the same window, waving our hands to our parents as they mirrored us from their car window. The lady in front of me waved to what seemed like her husband. They tried to communicate with a makeshift sign language. He pointed to his eye, drew a warm heart through the cold air, and then pointed to her. She tried to lean closer to him, but her window would not give, it was stubborn. The lady across of her waved to her husband (unless that big rock on her wedding finger was accessory jewelry), he waved back and walked away. As she watched him walk away, her lower eyelid was shaking under the weight of that tear drop, a drop that said I miss you already.

Train stations trigger a lot of emotions and thoughts. People come, people go. Some have no one to wave to but await smiles at their destination. Others wave to their loved ones, and hopefully have smiles at their destination too. Then there are people who seem to have nothing. I sit here staring out of my window and wonder about the day I won’t have my parents to wave to. Which category would I fit in when that day happens? And does it matter which category I’m in? I feel grounded in who I am, what I can do, and proud of what I have accomplished so far, but I realize that deep down I’m like most people. You are unique, like everyone else. Deep down, like any normal human being, we all have a fear of being alone. However, I don’t believe that everyone is aware of that fact. Humans are social creatures, and without that characteristic, we would have been long extinct. This characteristic manifests itself in different areas of people’s lives. If you open your eyes, you’ll see this longing to connect with others through normal day to day interactions, facebook (how many friends do you have and why do you keep going back to see what others are doing?), myspace, msn, blogs, personal relationships (note how many people try to quickly replace their ex b.f./g.f. for the sake of not being alone) etc. Like strands in a fabric of a society, we try to connect with one another whether we realize it or not. Sometimes I wonder if more people realize the cores and pillars of what makes us human, what makes us behave the way we do, then if the world would have less conflicts.

I’ve reached my destination, and a world awaits me.

And when will you be back home?

Independence is a forbidden fruit. Once you taste it, it's very hard to go back to your former broccoli of a life (although I do like broccoli). Part of the joy of growing up (and hopefully maturing) is leaving your cozy nest (aka the parents' home), and learning to take care of yourself. Initially it's not easy to be away from your mom's amazing cooking, the daily hugs (I love hugs more than food), the quality time with the parents, and of course access to a car. However, you soon appreciate the advantages of doing whatever you want to do, whenever you want to, an not having to explain your priorities to your parents. This does not mean that I'm going to let myself go loose like an unrestrained child in a candy store (although some students end up doing that...they end up with diabetes and cavities). Independence is what you make of it, and in my case, it was about learning what my limits are and what I am capable of on my own. Although, I suppose if I stayed at home, I would grow up even more (assuming I took initiative). At home you'd have to learn to take an active role in experiencing the same thing as your peers away from home while making your parents grow up and accept the fact that you're no longer a little kid. It's like two challenges at the same time! (Bravo to those handling the double challenge!)

In any case, I took the easy route of being away from home. However, I'll have to face the second challenge next year when I go back to my hometown to do my hospital rotations. Whenever I go back home for a long weekend/holiday, I feel like a little kid again. This is mainly because my parents will remind me to eat (apparently I don't eat much while I'm at school, but this is probably compared to Mediterranean meal standards), I'll be asked why I'm not studying madly (after all, this is all that med students should do), I'll be asked why I'm not dressed warm enough for the cold weather, and of course, my two favorite question - when are you coming back home and who are you going with? These two last questions define childhood and parenting. I appreciate the fact that my parents love me and have a concern about my safety - and believe me, I have come to terms with those two questions - but I don't know at what point of my adulthood when they'll accept that I hang out with trustworthy people, and that I don't really plan the time that I'll be coming back home. Next year will be especially amusing because I'll be spending the majority of the time at the hospital. I can vividly imagine my parents asking me where I'm going, who I'm with, and what time I'm coming back home - "Mom, I'll be at the hospital again, I'll be hanging out with patient R, Patient X, Patient Y, and Patient A, and I'll be on call, so I won't be home tonight." - "Ok, make sure you eat, and study!".

All I know, is that one day I'll miss my parents and their attempt to provide a protective bubble (Lifetime warranty!), and I'll keep that memory alive by passing on the bubble to my future kids. Ah, now that's love.