The Culture Train

One of the most noticeable thing between the North American culture and my Mediterranean culture is the distance people keep from one another. Mediterraneans speak in an exaggerated cartoon like way. We talk louder, move our hands as if juggling invisible balls, and stand a lot closer than our North American counterparts. In North America, it seems like everyone keeps distant from everyone else. On the bus, train, etc. people sit at least 1 seat away from each other and then avoid eye contact. People also seem less touchy than in the Mediterranean culture. If a Mediterranean person is having a conversation, chances are they'll touch your shoulder or arm when making a point or gesturing at something. While this is just a normal and automatic part of the way we act, it's definitely not as common in Canada. Last year, I remember walking towards a door at the same time as a classmate. The door was narrow, so naturally I let the girl go ahead first. To gesture this, I stuck one hand out (as if pointing to the doorway) and the other on her shoulder very briefly and said "go ahead first". She gave me a talk about how I seem very touchy and how that makes people uncomfortable. That little lecturing she gave me threw me off. It felt as if a doctor told you that you had a disease you never knew you had. It hits you hard, makes your heart stop as you try to collect your thoughts, and you don't know what you're supposed to do next. I ignored it. I kept a mental note to keep an exaggerated distance away from her. Other than that, I'm not changing. I may sound stubborn, but this is how I grew up, and I know my way is better. I'm right. In fact, the two Mediterranean doctors I did electives with this summer act EXACTLY the same way with their patients, and they love it. I have never seen any of the Caucasian doctors get this many hugs, kisses, and patients teasingly slapping their shoulder for their witty/teasing remarks. I love it. I embrace it.
A couple of days ago I took the train to visit my parents for the weekend. Naturally, everyone boarding looked for an empty seat. People like their oversized North American bubble of space. I avoided the empty seat, and sat beside a stranger. It confuses them. It's amusing. I then begin to chat with them about their life, their travels, family, relationships. It's amazing to see a person who once segregated themselves away from other passengers suddenly open up when they find someone to listen to and be fascinated by their life. The first passenger I talked to was a young lady (about my age) in criminology, but is aspiring to be a lawyer. She told me how her career goals get in the way of wanting to have a family and lots of kids [a common theme with some of the girls in our med class]. She taught me about the importance of unions, women's rights in the workplace, and her travels across the world. She was once on a plane that had to make an emergency landing because it was about to catch on fire! That day I also learned that there are blond Italians (every Italian I have met is short and has dark dark hair).
The second passenger I met was a 24 year old girl who worked in health care management. She initially confused me. She was opening all these templates in a microsoft program and closing them...for an hour. So I asked what she was working on and then I teased her that I thought she was going crazy with her work. This opened up the conversation, where I got to learn about her work, why she thought I should be a nephrologist, and then we chatted about relationships. I then asked her how she met her boyfriend [it's always amusing to hear these stories & the things guys go through to ask a girl out!]. Her boyfriend story wasn't very climatic though - she met him through a mutual friend. But whoever he is, he's one lucky guy, she was smart, beautiful, and was fun to talk to.
The train arrived to its destination. Like everyone else, we all went our separate ways. Unlike everyone else, we went away with a unique memory instead of what could have been a boring 2 hour train ride otherwise.

edit note (March 13, 2008) : I don't think I'd hug a patient unless they initiate it. Although we are not swamped with lawsuits like in America, who knows what the situation will be like by the time I graduate. I remember reading the newspaper this week about a man who was sued for hugging someone..apparently it was considered as an assault. Maybe the man misunderstood what a bear hug was supposed to be...what a world!