Like my girlfriend, life is quite short. But, I also love it (and her too). This past week had a recurring theme. A theme that I thought most people would have already thought of - knowing your priorities in life. Strangely, not everyone realizes similar goals at the same time in life.
This week, the oncologist (doctor specializing with cancers) I was working with summarized her life to me. About going to university and being boy crazy, realizing she wanted to become a doctor (and all the crazy competition it took), her transition though medical school, and lastly - a point that stuck out to me. An older doctor told her - 'look, as much as you love your career, don't do what I did, don't wait too long before having kids'. I'll explain further down why this stuck out to me, after the next story.
Later on that week, I bumped into a couple of the nurses that I had worked with previously. Now I love talking to nurses, so we sat down to catch up over a quick lunch. Of course this lead to the typical questions a med student is asked - what do you want to be, are you going to work here again, are you dating/married? During our conversation, the nurses told me about doctors' lifestyles, time (or lack of), and divorces. This is when I proceeded to explain my views and priorities of life. When I finished, they strangely looked at me wide-eyed, as if I was speaking things unheard of by someone my age.
Life is short. Make the most of it. Make an impact on the world. Make an impact on the people that matter the most to you. When I talked to the oncologist, I was surprised that she didn't realize her priorities in life until someone pointed it out. When I talked to the nurses, I was surprised that they were shocked that I knew my priorities in life. When I look at the big picture, if I'm super optimistic, I have already experienced 1/4'th of my life and it flew by! This means, for the remaining portion of my life, I better know what to focus my time and energy on. The only way you can do that, is if you know what your main priorities in life are. To me they are 1) your health 2) your family. Job and money are secondary to these. By being healthy, you can feel good, you can live longer, you can as a result dedicate a lot more of your time and energy to your family!
When I imagine myself as an old man, I know that I'll look at my children, grand-kids, and lovely/bossy wife. I'll look at them proudly and I'll happily realize that this is all that matters to me. They are everything. I'll know then, that all the sacrifices, dedication, and effort put in since I was a little boy was worth it all. I won't think about my career as much, I won't think about the money I have or could have had, all those things fade. Patients will appreciate me, thank me, and forget me. Money will come and go. Your family is truly all that you'll have left. So when I tell my doctor, nurses, and friends that I want to choose a specialty that won't be hectic, that won't be too busy, that this career comes second, that I don't care about being rich, that ultimately your health and family is all that matters - I am taken aback when they have this sudden look of realization that, hey, you're right. No wonder a lot of these over worked doctors end up divorcing - how can you be happily married if you are never home? How can you raise your kids properly if you rarely see them? You can't live without knowing where you are going, and you won't know where you are going without having a sense of direction - your goals in life. Thankfully I know mine :)
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